Mommy Moment #1

All Mommy Moments will be dedicated to those times when you realize, in a brief moment of clarity, that holy shit you really are a mom. Life as you once knew it is now over.

To be honest, this wasn't my first Mommy Moment, but it was the most recent:

An old high school friend came to visit to see Anna for the first time. My husband and I were looking forward to meeting her new arm candy boyfriend (previous versions of boyfriends were not as pleasant or attractive), who unfortunately had to travel back home early. We were unaware of his absence, and cleaned up the living room, stuffing burp cloths under couches, attempting to remove milk residue from couch pillows, and generally trying to make the kitchen look like a platoon of chocolate milk chugging cup stackers hadn't conquered it in the name of a full dishwasher. Personally, I was quite disappointed in the missing boyfriend for my own reasons.

Me: So where is the man?

Friend: Oh, he had to travel back yesterday.

Me: What? Really? But...I put on a shirt and everything!

If you're breastfeeding, I know you feel me on this. If there's no one in the house other than you and your significant other, a nursing bra and a zip up hoodie are all you need. I mean really.

Case in point (also another Mommy Moment):

We have a changing table, but we spend a lot of time in the living room with all of Anna's contraptions (swing, bassinet, pack and play, activity mat, etc.) So we also keep a changing pad and diapers/wipes in the living room as well.

Now Anna has knack preference for urinating at the exact moment I am swapping out her dirty diaper for a new, fresh one, even after the courtesy two minute warning I give her that this is going to happen. It is not uncommon for her to wet both changing pad covers in the same diaper change. This particular evening, she did it on the changing pad in the living room. Luckily it was contained to the pad itself and spared the carpet, but I was stuck holding a wet newborn who had just soaked her diapers, changing pad, and pajamas. Husband was in bed. Do I call him?

Screw it. I'm a mom now.  And with that, I pulled her to my chest and carried her down the hall to the actual changing pad (which by the gods remained dry).

See? If I had been wearing a shirt, I'd have even more laundry than I already do with a wild peeing daughter.

Yeah, that's now I roll.