Honesty...not always the best policy.

Unless you're my aunt. Who has no filter.

Let me set the scene.

It is one week after I've given birth. Note: still in the 1 year window for postpartum depression. We're home with Anna. My mother, two aunts, and mother's friend are all visiting. My sister in law arrives as well. My husband is hanging out in the stairwell nearby overlooking the scene. One of my aunts turns to me and says:

"When you told us you were pregnant, I knew right away you were having a girl."

OK.

Right.

This ought to be good. 

I waited with anticipation, not because I was curious as to what she was going to say, but because I knew it was going to be a great story to tell later. This is the woman who believe the capital of Maryland was....Wisconsin. This is also the woman who, at age 28, in a story often told by my father, did not know what the Pentagon was on a trip through Washington D.C. After a lengthy explanation by my uncle, her follow up question was: "Why do they call it the Pentagon?"

I not-so-eagerly responded to her comment.

"Oh?"

"Yes. My mother told me that when you're pregnant, boys give you beauty, and girls take your beauty."

.........so you just called me ugly. Got it. 

As my mother, aunt, and mother's friend all sputtered in disbelief (and my ears attempted to unhear my other aunt) she CONTINUES TO EXPLAIN AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE (she's Italian, so apparently it's excusable).

"What I mean is, when I was pregnant with the boys (mother of three boys) my mother told me how beautiful I was and that I glowed. At the beach (where I told them I was pregnant) you were very pale, and drawn...."

OK, let's get something straight. I'm French Canadian/Irish. I'm ALWAYS pale. It doesn't matter what time of year it is, I'm pale. I don't tan, I burn. I'm also 7 weeks into pregnancy at that time, so morning sickness is my constant and ever present enemy.

"....and....well I don't want to use the word ugly...."

Really? Cause you just did.

"...more like....homely."

WTF?! 

Right. Cause homely is any better. 

That's just what every rookie mom wants to hear. That she looked HOMELY the three times you saw her during her pregnancy. 

Man, I can't wait to do this all over again with child #2.

Honesty is appreciated, but only if you think before you speak. I've found that for some reason the filter in people's brains becomes dislodged when others around them are pregnant. Not only mentally but physically - as in DON'T TOUCH MY STOMACH. Why is it that when our abdomens are occupied people think that it's OK to touch it without asking? It wasn't OK before - why would it be now?

Thank god I have a loving husband and a healthy self esteem. Too bad I don't drink wine.....