You know, I don't even like the word daycare. I'm going to call it school. Preschool. Yes. That sounds better already.
Tomorrow will be Anna's first time at preschool.
And I'm f*cking terrified.
She'll only be there three days a week. I'll have her at home one day, my mom will have her the other. But I'm still afraid.
What if she thinks I abandoned her? What if she cries the whole time? What if one of the other kids hurts her? What if the adults don't understand her? What if what if what if what if?
You see where I'm going with this. I'm going to cry my eyes out tomorrow. I'm happy leaving her with family or trusted friends for a little while, but this? This is different.
I've seen other
Um, hello? She won't be an infant forever? What else you got?
We had to ask SO many questions. Not just for us, but because it wasn't obvious. What was obvious is that she didn't really seem to care for our child or our business. See ya.
Our nephew goes to a small preschool too. In a house, little play yard, small groups of kids. He does really well there. Probably why we chose the place we did. Plus, I don't have to fight 200 other moms for a f*cking parking space whenever I have to pick her up.
There are a million questions you're SUPPOSED to ask when finding a preschool. What's the adult/child ratio? Are you licensed? What do we need to provide? What does their day look like? How much?
Then you look at reviews for the place to see what it's REALLY like. We actually have a friend who's mother works at a preschool in town. And advised us NOT to go there.
Comforting....
I feel a little better after dropping off her stuff last week so she'll be ready for Monday. It's a small place, inside of a house, and the classes are small. There are bright colors, windows, and a good sized outdoor play area. The teachers are nice. The owner remembers a lot about her clients even after only meeting them once. And she was onhand to reassure every one of my fears.
Preschool will be good for Anna. Socially. Intellectually.
Stay at home mom is a tough job. It's not for everyone.
You can call anytime you like. 100 times a day if you want. They will always answer.
You can stop by anytime you like. Anytime.
Another little girl Anna's age is starting there too. She'll have a playmate.
And so on.
I know she'll be fine. I know it'll be good for her.
And I think that's what matters most: how you feel about the place. Do you feel comfortable here? Then your child probably will too.
For all you other mommies out there who might need some reassurance, I found this being passed around on Facebook yesterday (I believe it originated with someone called Jill Smith):
To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom.
To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.
To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.
I'm a good mom. I'm a good mom. I'm a good mom....
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