The Beach Comparison

My husband's family goes to the lake every summer for a week or so. My family goes to the beach each summer for two weeks. The last week at the lake and first week at the beach overlap, but we generally have a week at each vacation place.

You've already heard a bit about the camp my husband's family goes to. My family has been going to the same beach house for almost 20 years. We have rented the 2nd floor for a long time, back to when I used to fit 7 kids and 4 adults among 4 beds, two cots, and the occasional air mattress. Not to mention any friends that would visit and sleep over. The beach and camp are similar in only a few ways:

1. Bad beds. You will not get a good nights sleep. Camp beds creak horribly, you sleep in sleeping bags on thin mattresses, and the beds are so small that if you aren't married to the person you are sharing the bed with you should be by morning--just to be proper. Be sure to invite the invading bugs to your reception. At the beach, you get a little more mattress, but they sag in the middle, creating a heat filled cuddle time--whether you want it or not. Oh yeah, and sand. EVERYWHERE.

2. Card playing. Day or night, our families both play cards fairly religiously on vacation. Another family initiation rite is that you MUST know how to play Forty-Fives, or be willing to learn. Or else you are OUT.

Camp and the beach are also quite different...

1. At camp, if you're not family, you're not really invited. Period. At the beach, everyone and their best friend is invited to come up, regardless of sleepng space, parking space, and quantity of food and drink.

2. Camp has fairly ample parking. At the beach, it is a mad rush to see who can get the most parking spaces--and keep them. Each time someone needs to leave the beach house, it is a mad rush to rearrange vehicles so no street parking is lost. You may actually be considered a disgrace if you resort to parking on the paid lot across the street, or World War III may break out if you've hogged the space that comes with the condo too long.

3. At least the beach has ample indoor plumbing. And showers. Hot water available only if you wait 20 minutes between showers.

4. Sound. The lake is quiet, peaceful, and serene. With the occasional exception of fireworks, camp is a dead zone for sound at night. The beach is a cacophony of sound. Waves, planes, kids, fireworks, and traffic (especially motorcycles) can be heard day and night. Buying stock in earplugs is recommended.

5. And finally, atmosphere. My husband's family and mine are as similar and different as the lake and the beach. His family is quiet, calm, and simple, whereas mine is an explosion of sound, food, and drama. It is not unheard of for someone in my family to dive across the table during a game of Spoons (and disappear underneath the opposite side) or for someone to slam down their Forty-Fives hand in the throes of victory the losers won't speak to them for a day.